Myth #1: It takes 21 days to form a new habit.
Let’s clarify this one right off the bat.
Research has shown that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a new habit. On average, it takes more than 2 months. Realistically, it takes between 2 to 8 months to form a solid habit.
So if you’ve ever done a 30-day challenge that didn’t stick, you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you.
Myth #2: It's all or nothing.
This is so common: you’re on a roll, you stick to the habit every day and then bam! You miss one day. And it all goes downhill because now you’re saying to yourself, “What’s the point? I failed, and now it’s all ruined. I have to start over.”
Wrong! It's about embracing the mistakes. It's not about perfection, it's about experimentation. Studies show that it doesn't matter if you mess up now and then... it doesn't affect the habit-formation process (basically, it’s okay to be human).
This makes so much sense to me because habits are much deeper than just a 21-day “event” – it's actually your day-to-day life.
It's about the journey, the process, and not just about ticking off those checkboxes.
Myth #3: Habits are restrictive and boring.
You must be someone after my own heart. I learned the hard way that this doesn't have to be true.
Think about it this way:
Sometimes, not having habits can be restrictive and boring.
For example, if you don’t tidy up after yourself in your house, you may feel insecure about having people come over and that probably isn't your idea of freedom.
It totally depends on how you create that story for yourself. You have the ability to choose your experience. I now have habits that I adore because they are fun and they set me up for an awesome day, but I had to intentionally seek out those things that felt good for me. Remember, no one is forcing you to do anything that makes you miserable.
Bonus myth: New Year's Resolutions are a joke and set you up for guilt, deprivation, and failure.
After going through my own experiences of this and guiding clients through it as well, I've found the root cause to be simply this: fear of disappointment.
What I mean is that we hate the feeling of getting riled up, excited, and happy about something, because we assume that it won't last and it will be taken away from us. It's like "the higher you go, the further you fall" sort of thing.
And well, since life is the way it is, we have all experienced deep pain, loss, and hurt. It's no wonder that we don't let ourselves set high expectations. It's easier on the emotions when you mentally prepare for the worst in every scenario. That way, you save yourself the trouble of dealing with guilt and disappointment.
That's why I created The Pathway to Peace. So that you start to rekindle more trust in yourself and in life. And it can actually be a beautiful and fulfilling process.
Because at some point, being the 'glass is half-empty' person gets old.
The early-bird bonuses expire Friday, March 19th.
I stand for quality and intimacy over big numbers. That's why I'm only accepting 10 people total.
Steve